| betrayed and hurt |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|11:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
I had a friend, whom I used to believe was a genuine friend. But the big shock came when I discovered that, to her, I was just a tool, so that she gets to do things she likes.
It's amazing how someone who looks so harmless, can be so "innocently" scheming. And the scary thing is, I had been deceived for soooo many years.
When she was down and out, having financial problems, I'd lent her money to tide over. When she was upset with her parents, I analysed the situation for her and explained why her parents were worried about her (for the obvious reason that she has no plans for her future, no plans to find a proper job etc.) I thought she was just a little naive, a little in her own world, and tried to help her get accustomed to reality, whilst not forgetting about dreams. I tried to keep her inspired, to continue to believe in dreams and ambitions. I involved her whenever there was something that I thought she would like to do and could probably excel. I thought she understood what real dreams are... But sad to say, I have just found out - the hard way - that she is just a dreamer, someone who sits there, tells people she wants this and that... but expects others to help her get it!
Apparently, she's been telling things to friends around her and giving them the wrong impressions. What seemed to be harmless "heart to heart talks" with her friends, were actually horribly biased comments about people around her. She chooses to shut her ears when it comes to people who tell her the truthful facts that she doesn't like to hear, and goes around telling her "confidants" about how those people are bad and all, twisting the whole story.
It is no wonder she didn't speak up for me when her friend who barely knows me (we only met once), passed harsh judgments on my character and gave very insulting comments. And that conversation was only discovered because she had accidentally sent the conversation to me when it was meant for another friend.
When I asked her about it, she just brushed it aside, first telling me that the conversation was not for me, and then later on upon further probing, gave a lame excuse that it is because that guy and I didn't talk much that time we met. As you can see, she really doesn't have a sense of logic.
For one, since we didn't talk much, why would he be so affirmative about my character? What he hears about me, is only through her!
For two, even if what she said was true, and that this guy was really just a brainless guy who passes inaccurate judgments on others superficially, then being my friend, why didn't she speak up for me??
For three, she didn't even bother to explain and just said that the conversation was not meant for me.
And the best of all is when I said I was very hurt and disappointed in her and left the chat. She had the cheek to SMS me saying the following!!!
"I'm sorry for saying n doing things causing yr disappointment in me. If u'd like to re-evaluate this collaboration we're currently doing, do let me noe n i'd understand."
What's that supposed to mean???!?!?! In the first place, I did not even use whatever collaboration to threaten her! I was genuinely asking for her explanation, and when she couldn't come up with a convincing response, I just told her frankly that I was very hurt and disappointed in her. So now, the above SMS seems to me like a very insincere apology, followed by a request for me to not continue associating with her, and makes it sound like she is the UNDERSTANDING one, and the VICTIM of the whole affair.
MY GOD.
From a lady who SEEMED to be a bubbly person with a kind heart... turns out to be a vindictive devil in angel's disguise! She gives the innocent smile and attacks you with the most harmless looking weapon! I am truly upset about this betrayed friendship, and yet all these didn't matter the least bit to her. HA. What a fool I was.
It all makes sense now... the reason why other friends of hers (who don't even know me well) have given me rather hostile remarks and left me puzzled because I didn't even tread on their toes or anything! The whole jigsaw is complete.
Cheated for 10 years. My gosh. 10 years...!!
I thought I was already very careful about making real friends, but I failed terribly this time.. and I learnt my lesson the hardest and most painful way. I wish the best for her although our paths have split, for I believe in karma.
Good luck to my other dear friends who are in contact with her. Please be careful. |
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