banana

imma vegetarian!

I've started being a vegetarian since 5 Jan 2010, perhaps unintentionally at first, but now purposefully one. It's been about 1.5 months, and I'm still not feeling any cravings for meat, so that's good. :)

I get questions all the time from relatives and friends, asking me why I became a vegetarian (lacto-ova vegetarian, to be precise... that means I still eat egg and dairy products). Well, it's quite a hard question to answer, because it's really not for any particular reason, but just a choice I decided to make. I didn't give myself any deadline either.

I don't like it that people assume that it's for health reasons and come straight to tell me things like: "you know, actually vegetarian food doesn't help cos it has alot of fried stuff..."

I am not comfortable when people give me the "raised eyebrow" look and ask if it's because of religion, since I've been exploring the Dharma some time back.

I snigger when others ask if it is because I don't want to kill animals, simply because I'm really not that noble.

The real reason? Perhaps it's a bit of everything above, but if I had to give one reason, I would say it is perhaps one of those things to train my perseverance and discipline, and also to discover how attached I am to meat-eating. I love giving myself little challenges -- which probably explains why I used to take long cycling trips to various places in Singapore... why I take up triathlons when I'm already old and rusty... why I insist on walking home rather than take a cab (when I was younger)... why I lost about 10kg in 2 months some years back.

Anyway, this choice is a recognised socially as a "good" one, so I guess it doesn't hurt to try something new right? And perhaps, it might actually make my healthier, experience less aversions and make a little difference to the world's ecosystem.

Why must reasons always have to be practical and stereotypical? =)
  • Current Mood
    calm calm
banana

Change starts from the heart

I feel blessed today. I'm glad to have communicated and spoken to some friends, which our conversation has made each one of us a happier person today. I'm glad to have met a very nice lady who was kind and generous to me. I'm also glad that my decision to let go of selfishness and share my netbook with my mum, going to games website for her to try the online games and then having my father join in to watch her play, has in turn brought happiness to my parents as well as myself. They may be little things, but when one is more mindful and aware of things happening, they become appreciated and not taken for granted. :)

It's probably too early to set resolutions for 2010 but I guess it doesn't hurt to list some while I reflect on myself:
- Need to be compassionate to all beings.
- Need to avoid cravings (greed), aversions (anger) and ignorance.
- Need to meditate everyday and be more mindful and aware of things around me.
- Need to be more generous and put others before myself.
- Need to be more patient with people.

Knowing myself, that's a whole chunk of things to work on! But I'll try my best!
  • Current Mood
    hopeful hopeful
banana

Thankful for the passionate musicians around me!

(this entry's kinda late hehe)

ME15 was a great experience for us! The rise of 奶油排骨饭! :D

It's really fun having great musicians around me. I've learnt a lot from my fellow bandmates and mentors and I'm really grateful and thankful that I have their help!

The commitment level was there, the passion was there, everyone just inspires everyone else to improve and I enjoyed the whole process so much that I was suffering from ME15 withdrawal symptoms for at least 1 week after the finals! haha ;p

And here's the awards list woohoo!
吴哥窟的你 - Champion
骷髅头在对我笑 - Most Popular Song
音乐盒里的梦想 (category B) - Best Lyrics

Couldn't have done it without them, really. :]

After resting for 1 week, we're gonna continue with the brand pracs again woohoo!
Our next target: building up of our repertoires and taking up gigs! :D
banana

i am playing bass~ yippee~ :)

It was kinda stressful just now for band practice cos alot of people were there!! :x But I've definitely learnt quite a bit from the session! Realised that I haven't been listening to the drums enough to make it more tight.. and my fingers are still too slow.. :\ but will work on that and improve~~ hopefully can do better next time round! :)

Anyway I know what I'm attempting now is seriously over-ambitious haha... but I guess I'm the kind who like to take frivolous risks trying new stuff when I really shouldn't. ;P In a way it helps me stay focused (i get distracted easily) 'cos I know I need to reach my objective by a certain deadline.. which reminds me.. my triathlon is on 1 August OMG!!! :S

I need to get a bass guitar for myself and get used to it, so that on 23 Aug it won't add unnecessary pressure on top of my trembling fingers on stage! *gulps* Walked around at Penninsula S.C. earlier today to look around and saw a Fender Aerodyne Jazz Bass which looks really gorgeous! It's a whooping $1,745!! I didn't try it but I'm already in love with it!! 0_0

Tried a Crafter instead... (it's cheaper ;p) the feel's quite nice but the finish is like wood wood one leh... not the usually sleek and shiny kind~ hmm... Let me go think about it and research more before I make this investment~~~ $$$$$

Feeling inspired these days... especially after watching Super Band 纵贯线... i like 李宗盛 for the really good songs he's written and 张震岳 for being so "himself"! 罗大佑 was damn cool on the keyboard and 周华健 was really funny like usual~ Can't wait for them to release album lah.. I sure buy!!! :D

i must practice hard!!! **奋斗**
  • Current Music
    骷髅头在对我笑
banana

something happier! :)

Moving on in life, I have decided that I should let go of negative thoughts, because unhappiness causes cysts (says B to YM), and stress causes cancer!

I have finally formed a band! And I am a bassist!!! HAhahaha!!! A "barely 2 weeks old" bassist!! :P Woohoo... I'm totally addicted to jamming! And I'm really glad the rest of the instrumentalists felt the same great vibes as I did! :D :D :D

I'm still very amazed by my bandmates!!! And the VERY, VERY ZAI Rollin shushu! :) I am looking foward to every session of jamming!

Keep me happy, please... for there are too many troubling matters around me these days. *prays*
banana

betrayed and hurt

I had a friend, whom I used to believe was a genuine friend. But the big shock came when I discovered that, to her, I was just a tool, so that she gets to do things she likes.

It's amazing how someone who looks so harmless, can be so "innocently" scheming. And the scary thing is, I had been deceived for soooo many years.

When she was down and out, having financial problems, I'd lent her money to tide over. When she was upset with her parents, I analysed the situation for her and explained why her parents were worried about her (for the obvious reason that she has no plans for her future, no plans to find a proper job etc.) I thought she was just a little naive, a little in her own world, and tried to help her get accustomed to reality, whilst not forgetting about dreams. I tried to keep her inspired, to continue to believe in dreams and ambitions. I involved her whenever there was something that I thought she would like to do and could probably excel. I thought she understood what real dreams are... But sad to say, I have just found out - the hard way - that she is just a dreamer, someone who sits there, tells people she wants this and that... but expects others to help her get it!

Apparently, she's been telling things to friends around her and giving them the wrong impressions. What seemed to be harmless "heart to heart talks" with her friends, were actually horribly biased comments about people around her. She chooses to shut her ears when it comes to people who tell her the truthful facts that she doesn't like to hear, and goes around telling her "confidants" about how those people are bad and all, twisting the whole story.

It is no wonder she didn't speak up for me when her friend who barely knows me (we only met once), passed harsh judgments on my character and gave very insulting comments. And that conversation was only discovered because she had accidentally sent the conversation to me when it was meant for another friend.

When I asked her about it, she just brushed it aside, first telling me that the conversation was not for me, and then later on upon further probing, gave a lame excuse that it is because that guy and I didn't talk much that time we met. As you can see, she really doesn't have a sense of logic.

For one, since we didn't talk much, why would he be so affirmative about my character? What he hears about me, is only through her!
For two, even if what she said was true, and that this guy was really just a brainless guy who passes inaccurate judgments on others superficially, then being my friend, why didn't she speak up for me??
For three, she didn't even bother to explain and just said that the conversation was not meant for me.

And the best of all is when I said I was very hurt and disappointed in her and left the chat. She had the cheek to SMS me saying the following!!!

"I'm sorry for saying n doing things causing yr disappointment in me. If u'd like to re-evaluate this collaboration we're currently doing, do let me noe n i'd understand."

What's that supposed to mean???!?!?! In the first place, I did not even use whatever collaboration to threaten her! I was genuinely asking for her explanation, and when she couldn't come up with a convincing response, I just told her frankly that I was very hurt and disappointed in her. So now, the above SMS seems to me like a very insincere apology, followed by a request for me to not continue associating with her, and makes it sound like she is the UNDERSTANDING one, and the VICTIM of the whole affair.

MY GOD.

From a lady who SEEMED to be a bubbly person with a kind heart... turns out to be a vindictive devil in angel's disguise! She gives the innocent smile and attacks you with the most harmless looking weapon! I am truly upset about this betrayed friendship, and yet all these didn't matter the least bit to her. HA. What a fool I was.

It all makes sense now... the reason why other friends of hers (who don't even know me well) have given me rather hostile remarks and left me puzzled because I didn't even tread on their toes or anything! The whole jigsaw is complete.

Cheated for 10 years. My gosh. 10 years...!!

I thought I was already very careful about making real friends, but I failed terribly this time.. and I learnt my lesson the hardest and most painful way. I wish the best for her although our paths have split, for I believe in karma.

Good luck to my other dear friends who are in contact with her. Please be careful.
  • Current Mood
    drained drained
banana

the humid weather's back!

it's back again... the unbearable weather that is bad at night and worse in the day...

it's times like this that i think the air-conditioning companies should start advertising again. i would have succumbed to the temptations, if not for the "lack of order" in my room. (The technicians would not be able to install an air-con in my room.)

so perhaps keeping my room the way it is, saves me money?

but the heat's gonna kill me.

hmm... first, i gotta figure out where to start packing... ...
  • Current Mood
    hot hot
banana

let's all be nice people...

In programming, you catch an exception and throw a statement.
At work, you catch a mistake and that person throws you a (nasty) statement.

but it's ok. i really shouldn't be angry. in fact i should be more understanding... for this person will one day realise it, feel guilty and change for the better. everyone goes through that...

(yes i'm trying to be positive)

*ZEN*
(like what PK says his House is doing. *laughs*)
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
banana

Happy Chinese New Year~ *burps*

i'm back!

woahs... it's been 2 months plus since my last entry, haha! been wanting to update some stuff but haven't got to.. and now i can't remember what i'd wanted to update. ;op

soooo, it's a brand new lunar year! that's fast. and it's getting scarier every year cos im AGING. *roars* i think soon i'll belong to the AGING population in singapore. bah..

oh yes, totally random, but im picking up guitar right now... woohoo.. just got myself a Maestro jumbo and i'm practising hard so that it lives up to its purpose! it'll be so cool if i could play the guitar.. then i can bring it around and sing everywhere i go! yeah!~ :) and i hope one day i can play and sing like khalil fong! :D :D :D

other than trying to play the guitar, i've signed up on meetoto.com. it's cute! haha..u're a virtual person going around singing karaoke! (you can go fishing if u want la) and u earn money for that! :D hmm talking about fishing... i think i'm going to get a fishing rod and go fishing on my alternate friday off days. keke...

alright, here's wishing all of you a Happy Chinese New Year! hope u'll get flooded with ang pows~~ ;)
  • Current Music
    some guy singing 曹操 on meetoto